It’s been a while since I have posted here. I’m absolutely still alive and always doing my best to push forward despite the hellscape that is happening in the country. I’m avoiding the shit out of any news outside of Portland and comment sections on social media. My job is, well, just a job at best, but is full of microaggressions and is the trigger of most of my meltdowns these days. I hope to find something better in Portland itself and hopefully outside of IT. Medical nuances persist but I am addressing them one step at a time.
I have however really broken out of my shell finally after finding some wonderful communities here. Biggest of which is having gotten back into my biking, and finding some amazing biking groups in Portland, filled with some amazing and accepting people.
Beyond transitioning, the best decision of my life subsequently has been moving to Portland. Portland is a beautiful and amazing place. It has big city nuances and problems, but it has a very special vibe. People here are just themselves, and many people truly do not care about perceived differences. There is an amazing amount of queer and trans people here. It’s also very social. Anything you can think of, there is probably a group doing it regularly who are happy to have you join in. It’s allowed an autistic girl with severe social anxiety to actually be social and actually be able to live instead of just existing. Fuck, I have actually been going to protests and not feeling overwhelmed. I think an inherent sense of belonging here has helped tremendously.
I’m also better accepting my own dysphoric points and am actually willing to exist in the world without wigs and makeup. I love who I am and I do like how I look, so I think it’s been more about trying to avoid people being shitty to me, which was very regular in Colorado but not here.
